Boundaries

So I was at the club with S the other day, up to our usual antics. The routine intoxicants were present, free and just calling us to use in order to wake up the next morning and not remember the night. And it did happen, but I do remember one point of the night when something sobered me up in the form of an old mutual friend of an ex who I hadn't seen since around October.
Some time after we got there, this guy that barely knew me said, "You know you're like a different person. I used to think you reminded me of ****, but now you like dude you with. You even talk like him."
I need a break from this cycle, discover what I look and talk like when I'm not trying to merge with someone.
Moreover, I think I have some kind of boundary issue; or maybe not so much boundaries on account of the fact that I'd need boundaries in order to have a boundary issue. But I guess the real problem with me is that I disappear into the person I love; the permeable membrane. If I love you, you can generally have everything; my time, my money, my ass, my family, my attention, my dog, my dog's money, my dog's time, my fish - everything. If I love you, I carry all your pain, your debts(in every definition of the word), protect you from your insecurities, protect you from my insecurities, enforce all the good qualities that you never see in yourself and I'll buy your whole family Christmas presents, ribbon on top and everything. I'll give you the sun, the moon, and if I can't, I'll get you a raincheque. I'll exhaust myself, deplete myself, and juice out all the love until I recover my energy by falling in love with someone else or you get too tired of my unconditional state.
It almost seems like nobody deserves my love, but I guess nobody deserves the burden of it either.
I'm not relaying this realization on this blog with pride, but this is how it's always been, and my reminder not to make it how it'll always be.